Archive for December, 2011

Driving through our subdivision early in the morning is like driving through a cemetery…all those dead blow-up snow-globes, Rudolphs, carolers, and saddest of all, SANTAS. Santa deserves special treatment because he’s in essence our modern-day interpretation of a SAINT, St. Nicholas, who did good things and became inextricably associated with Christmas. Of course, nowadays, he’s only a fat guy in a red suit who’s visit salivating children greedily anticipate on Christmas Eve.
When it’s light and people are moving about, all those decorations glitter and stand proud, but late at night when nobody’s looking they grow dark, deflate, and die. I find house decorations pretty…but kind of silly…I mean…ICICLES? In Louisiana? I haven’t seen anything like a real icicle since I was a boy. We had a coulee behind the house…for you sophistocates, a coulee is a slow moving, and I mean SLOW moving stream. Anyway, we had one, and every winter my brother and I eagerly watched it to see if we could ice-skate on it.
Of course, we didn’t have skates…IN LOUISIANA, way down at the bottom of our country…just a SHADE above tropical? Hell, sometimes even the deciduous trees didn’t answer the call, but If the ice EVER got thick enough, we flew across it in leather-soled shoes. Most of the time we kind of broke through, but now and then…NOW AND THEN…when it was an inch or two thick, we did our best to imitate those figure skaters we had seen on TV…just not nearly as gracefully.

And on those days we had icicles…REAL ICICLES…eight or nine inches long at least, and broke them off, coated them with sugar, and ate them, but these days they’re only memories. We haven’t seen a decent icicle down here for years, but that doesn’t stop the house decorators…only now they’re PLASTIC, electric, and disturbingly FAKE. I have a REALLY heavy coat…arctic capable…but the only time I’ve ever worn it was in northern Arkansas. It just doesn’t get cold enough down here anymore.
It seems appropriate for all those tacky icicles to dim at night and all those snow globes and Rudolphs to die, but the SANTAS, our last link to what this season really means? In Christian theology, Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus, but these days the image-makers choose to shun Him, pissing off Christians and I suspect some Moslems…because Islam reveres Him too, deeply actually, along with the Holy Family. They don’t see things EXACTLY the way we Christians do but reverence is reverence…and worthy of respect from EVERYONE. Of course, there’s no chance in hell the faith cops see it that way.
Driving through the early morning carnage, I can’t help remembering those living manger scenes on church lawns: Mary, Joseph, Wise Men, angels, sheep, and cattle acting out the first Christmas beneath a star put way up high, usually in a tree…with a little spotlighted manger containing a beautiful Jesus doll. I mean…what did you expect…a BABY? It got COLD in those days, and parents don’t like to let their babies suffer…certainly not in the name of Christmas.

Usually there were carols piped in, and the participants moved back and forth completing the whole re-enactment in about thirty minutes. We loved it…because we loved the story…and because sometimes it was funny, particularly when the wise men turned too quickly and you could see a flash of long johns just above their colorful boots…but mostly because it reminded us that Christmas was a lot more than present-getting season. It was also about the birth of Jesus, the personification of love.
Jesus is all about love…SURELY not all about freezing newborns…even though He nearly did that Himself…if His parents hadn’t found a warm manger for Him…kinda steamy, I always picture it, with smells of the Earth enveloping, welcoming Him. Believe what you will, but I choose to thank God for Jesus and honor Him on His birthday. I mean…what else is a Christian…or a good Moslem to do? Both religions keep Him way up high, and I suspect they’re as annoyed by all this foolishness as we are…you know…people trying to expunge the name of the Being who BOTH religions reverently believe presides at the Last Judgment.
Somebody’s going to grouse about calling Christmas His birthday, so I’ll address that pre-emptively. I know December 25th isn’t REALLY His birthday; the History Channel never seems to tire of telling us that date was originally a pagan winter holiday confiscated by the Church, and I THINK I can vaguely remember reading somewhere that Jesus was PROBABLY born in the spring…mid April…ties in with the historical record of the census…like that matters a big whoo.  It’s not about the DATE, people; it’s about WHO was born then and what HE means to the world.
Even more than love, Jesus has been the purest expression of PROMISE I’ve been able to find on my journey, and to tell the truth, I RESENT the faith cops’ decision to try and SEPARATE Him from Christmas, constantly at it, always ready to POUNCE on some poor minister, religious group, or even innocent children when they DARE try and honor His birth. I can’t help wondering what those awful people actually believe in, but the answer’s most likely NOTHING, locked in the illusion of CONTROL and POWER. The only thing they seem to lack is hobnails, but don’t worry. They’ll be wearing them soon enough.
Got a flash for you faith cop people. YOU’RE going to die, too, and even if you’re the most DEVOUT athiests the world has ever seen, wouldn’t you like your legacy to be a LITTLE BIT more than having destroyed a soft, beautiful, and reverent holiday zillions of people cherish? Let’s see…you’re against crosses, Baby Jesus in his manger, those poor Magi, angels, ANY expressions with the REMOTEST religious connection. What’s next? Stars? Carols? Cattle? SHEEP? Maybe even gifts…no, not gifts…they KNOW they’d lose that one…and those gifts help the economy. Faith cops are ALWAYS worried about things like the economy.

So I say keep those Santas on the lawn blown up all night….they’re the last remaining PARTICLE of real Christmas those faith cops seem willing to allow…however prostituted it may be. Let them stand defiantly all night and NEVER DIE…even if it kicks up the December electric bills a little, and personally, I hope people don’t surrender to political correctness and give up on Nativity Scenes. FIGHT for them. They were charming…and INNOCENT…and I, for one, mourn their passing, whatever those horrible people might think.
YOU…FAITH COPS…PAY ATTENTION! You gonna get COAL in your Christmas stockings, but I think you already KNOW that…and don’t give a rat’s ass about any of it…you, the self-styled guardians of truth, despite CENTURIES of philosophers, visionaries, luminaries, historians, novelists, artists, and physicists who haven’t been able to decide EXACTLY what that truth is. And you know what? I’m gonna piss you off even more…because I’m gonna PRAY for you and your silly, artificial posturing and politically-correct ways. Millions of blow-up lawn Santas keep telling me that’s EXACTLY what I should do!
Civilizations grow from what they build upon, not what they DESTROY.